“The problem with talking "with" people is you have to listen “to” them when you're done.”

Sirens, Lights, and Theme Songs

Why can't an ice cream truck run red lights? What if there are kids across the intersection who are running towards it? Don't you think the best thing would be for the craved truck to bolt across the street as soon as possible? But it can't because it doesn't have a siren. You have to have a siren to get run red lights.

Now some vehicles have lights atop their roofs without a siren. Like Meter maids, wide load escort cars, or construction vehicles. They just cruise around with lights that no one pays attention to. Why? They don't have a siren. Now Ice cream trucks don't get lights and construction vehicles don't get sirens. Only fire trucks, ambulances, and law enforcement cars have sirens.

Think about that. What if a rising bridge is jammed and a ship is about to go under it and crash. The police and fire trucks are on the scene, but they can't operate the bridge and aren't trained to fix it. Meanwhile, the construction truck with the engineer and his buddy the mechanic are stuck in traffic with their stupid yellow lights flashing.

Animal Control has a light, but I've never heard a siren. There aren't many emergencies where a rhino is stampeding downtown Salt Lake City, or a giant mutant snake has emerged from the swamps and is terrorizing the city. Have you ever watched Cops and wondered why the cops are trying to get a snake out from under a car? or crocodile out of a pool? They always seem confused and out of place, like they have no idea what to do. Well, it's because the animal control people are stuck in traffic with their orange lights flashing. That's why there's no reality show about animal control. It'd be 30 minutes of them yelling at cars cutting them off.

Now one thing that an ice cream truck has is that all the authorized emergency vehicles don't is a theme song. Seriously, other than when watching "The Three Stooges" or listening to a kid practice the violin, Have you ever heard the song "pop goes the weasel" anywhere else besides the other than in a neighborhood after school gets out? NO! Everyone knows what that song means. It is heard, appreciated, and responded to immediately. There aren't people confused on what it is, they are confused on where it is. For some reason those speakers on the truck echo around and make it hard to establish a sound vector.

Now think about this. What if more vehicles had theme songs. Wouldn't you like to be driving on the freeway and hear the tune to "Cops" Blare out from their powerful speakers? Or perhaps "Car 54 where are you?"? or my favorite "The Lone Ranger"

What if "ER" or "General Hospital" or even the song from "Scrubs" was playing as you went into a hospital.

What if in court, you heard the "Peoples Court" music in the halls, or even better..."Night Court"?
What if you were looking for someone to help you with an odd job and heard the "A-Team" music.
What if you were to go into a police station and "Dragnet" played as a narrator addressed your case to the detective?
Or you're walking down the street or through the mall and see some undercover cops chasing some teenager? wouldn't you love the theme from "21 Jump street" Playing from a small radio on their belt?

Brandy who I work with at Zions Bank would probably love to hear "money, money, money" every morning as she came to work. (She already does though because she freaking loves ABBA)

I'd love to have "Stand" by REM play everywhere I went, and "We Didn't Start the Fire" every time I have to take care of a problem.

If more aspects of life were more like the Ice Cream man and had themes, people would take life with less unnecessary seriousness and give respect to where it's due like to the police driving to the music of "Hawaii 5-0".

One group has it all...A unique siren, lights, and a theme song. Look at the respect they get while on the job and how happy of a life they lead. They are fun and crazy guys and everyone loves them...

Did you figure it out?...Yes the Ghostbusters!

Before you save my life, let me see your credentials...

Why do some people make it a point to brag about their being a "card carrying" individual trained in "CPR". Who cares. The only one would be someone who is trying to show their own credentials. If you are getting a job in the medical field, they have many more qualifications they are looking for. I doubt they ask to see someones certification in CPR. That's probably included in their other licences. Maybe someone in child care needs to prove it. But that's it.

Other than some employers, no one needs to know. Especially the victims! No one is going to doubt someone coming to the rescue to start the Heimlich maneuver when your dinner partner starts choking, or start doing mouth to mouth when your swimming buddy starts drowning OH, that's another one...a lifeguard. They need the license. But not be "card carrying". They don't have to prove to girls that they are lifeguards. The darkened leathery skin and sunbleached hair is the biggest indicator.

I understand having documentation of your qualifications for these jobs, but you shouldn't need to be a "card carrying" person. The only people who care are other people with cards. To me it's like some kids bragging about which baseball cards they have. Sometimes it's the same year and same player, but one as a different brand of card. That the best example i can think of. "Oh you were trained by the fire dept? well i was taught by the milkman...I win! I get to rescue that guy!" Do you think the person dying is going to ask to see the card first?

Maybe they would care if you screwed up and killed them. Then their family would want to know what business you had in touching them. They'd also probably sue the company or group that trained that person.

Okay seriously, how cursed is London in the cinema?

Have you ever thought about how bloody dark and horrific is London according to EVERY movie that sets it's setting there? Think about it.

Hook: Scary kidnapping by fictitious pirates in the dead of the night.
Sweeney Todd: a freaking murdering barber and all the selling of women and crooked judicial system.
Bednobs and Broomsticks: The scary book master who is willing to kill for the coveted book.
Mary Poppins: All the scary stuff in the alleys at night, the scary and mean looking nannies lined up for the job.
Robin Hood: HELLO!!! All the frightening stuff that happens in the country of Nottingham. How different would London be in that setting?
Phantom of the Opera: um...a murdering man who kills those who trespass or don't comply with his artistic demands. Oh and the fact that a creepy carnival had the deformed child imprisoned for their moneymaking display.
Oliver: A gang of pickpockets who are led by a man who is bullied by a scary, abusive, murdering thief.
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow: The murderous priest who condemns Ichabod's mother and the creepy deaths in London before he's dispatched to Sleepy Hollow.
The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe: All the bombings in London before the children are shipped out into the country.
Clockwork Orange: A gang of thieving, raping, teenagers terrorizing the otherwise already twisted alter-future of London.
Harry Potter: Everything that ever happens in London is the abusive Muggle stuff.
Jonny English: A mastermind who is planning on stealing the crown.
James Bond: Do I even need to go into all of those?
101 Dalmatians: A crazed woman who arranges to kidnap and skin a hundred puppies!
Reign of Fire: The site where dragons emerge and spread to kill off humanity. Oh and the queen lives there.
Sherlock Holmes: A dark, mysterious, and foggy scene for plenty of murders.
The Great Mouse Detective: The kidnapping of a daughter of an inventor being blackmailed to assist in killing and replacing the queen of England (in the mouse community)
A Christmas Carrol: A mean and bitter landlord who despises humanity and his tenants, who's haunted by scary ghosts throughout the night.
Shaun of the Dead: Zombies spread out and kill everyone.


Now I love all of the movies I mentioned, I'm just saying are there any movies that don't portray London as a terrible, scary, dark, and unfortunate place? Even movies in New York or LA can be backed up by plenty of movies in those same settings without anything fearful.

London...I don't think so!

Dude, you JUST called me!

Sometimes I get a call on the cell phone and as I'm reaching for it, they disconnect. That's fine! But literally within 10 seconds it's in my hand and I call the person back....NO ANSWER!!! Usually they call back within a few minutes or so, but the phone HAD to still be in your hand when I called back. I know you weren't on a second call because there was only one beep.

What gives? I've never called someone and as soon as they didn't answer, thrown the phone out the window, or into a hamper while diving for cover, or bolted upstairs, or just turned it off with lightning speed reflexes. What are these people doing? I don't understand. Often it is Jesse who does this.

If you read this Jesse...WHAT THE CRAP!?! Was your phone issued by the British Secret Service and if it isn't answered the first time, it activates a self destruct mechanism? Is your phone powered like those handpump flashlights and radios for emergency kits and your hand got tired cranking it while calling me and so you put it down to rest a few? I just don't understand...